{"id":15918,"date":"2023-12-08T13:18:53","date_gmt":"2023-12-08T13:18:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/sorry-we-missed-you\/"},"modified":"2023-12-08T13:18:53","modified_gmt":"2023-12-08T13:18:53","slug":"sorry-we-missed-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/sorry-we-missed-you\/","title":{"rendered":"Sorry We Missed You"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\" size-full wp-image-15913\" src=\"http:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/54831213dc147a3836e3bc9491f2e068.jpg\" alt=\"\" \/><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\"><strong>Sorry We Missed You<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><em>by Ben Banyard<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Get to the depot at stupid o&#8217;clock <br \/>to load Internet impulse purchases<br \/>into a hired van using a rented handheld.<br \/>It shows you the route, simple, they said,<br \/>park wherever with your hazards on,<br \/>jump out and hand it over, no worries.<\/p>\n<p>But new guys get the tower blocks<br \/>where the lifts are out of order<br \/>or front yards where dogs snarl.<\/p>\n<p>Got to beat the targets, every package<br \/>ticks like an unexploded bomb &#8211;<br \/>best advice I got was to bring <br \/>an empty Lenor bottle to piss in.<\/p>\n<p>By the end of the day you&#8217;ll be knackered;<br \/>good luck getting some sleep.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Sorry We Missed You by Ben Banyard Get to the depot at stupid o&#8217;clock to load Internet impulse purchasesinto a hired van using a rented handheld.It shows&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":676,"featured_media":15913,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1660],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15918","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-poetry-2"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15918","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/676"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15918"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15918\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15913"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15918"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15918"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15918"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}