{"id":12953,"date":"2019-05-14T10:40:41","date_gmt":"2019-05-14T09:40:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/this-poem-has-a-title\/"},"modified":"2019-05-14T10:40:41","modified_gmt":"2019-05-14T09:40:41","slug":"this-poem-has-a-title","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/this-poem-has-a-title\/","title":{"rendered":"This poem has a title"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

This Poem has a Title<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

by Lisa Kelly<\/em><\/p>\n

This poem must take medication in order to be read<\/p>\n

at any future event. It has been found that this poem<\/p>\n

has an unfair natural advantage which makes it stand<\/p>\n

out at festivals and open mic spots, and streak ahead<\/p>\n

of its competitors. In order for the competition not to<\/p>\n

feel demoralised, this poem must take aural contraceptives<\/p>\n

to suppress its innate ability to propagate and inspire<\/p>\n

other poems to try as hard as this poem. This poem<\/p>\n

must be sterilised, and wake up lethargic and drugged,<\/p>\n

so it becomes a non-starter and will be stripped of its title.<\/p>\n

This poem has too many phonemes which must significantly<\/p>\n

be reduced to sub-haiku levels. However, if this poem<\/p>\n

refuses to subscribe to its prescription, it may be allowed<\/p>\n

to focus on becoming a long poem of 5,000 lines<\/p>\n

where new rules regarding the phoneme levels do not<\/p>\n

apply. It is accepted that this ruling is discriminatory,<\/p>\n

but is necessary, reasonable and proportionate<\/p>\n

to ensure fair competition for all poems that are just not<\/p>\n

as good as this poem. Any argument that this poem<\/p>\n

should be celebrated, not regulated, will be ignored.<\/p>\n

The future of this poem has been brought to you by<\/p>\n

a panel despite its serious concerns about this poem<\/p>\n

having to take frequent medication, absence of evidence<\/p>\n

and potential harmful side-effects of phoneme treatment.<\/p>\n

This poem has promised to fight. This poem will be heard.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This Poem has a Title by Lisa Kelly This poem must take medication in order to be read at any future event. It has been found that…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":516,"featured_media":12951,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1660],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12953","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-poetry-2"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12953","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/516"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12953"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12953\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/12951"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12953"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12953"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12953"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}