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<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Please Be Advised<\/strong><\/span> by Helen Bovaird Ryan<\/em><\/p>\n I\u2019d just like to start this morning by welcoming you one and all So that\u2019s all very lovely and charming, but I feel it would be remiss Please open the booklets in your folders. It\u2019s so boring I won\u2019t read it all So if you put those principles at the top of your new list Moving on, there\u2019s the thorny issue of dealing with THE PRESS ….THE HONEST ANSWER IS\u2026. you get the picture, don\u2019t you? The press just can\u2019t handle the truth.<\/p>\n The way to get the job done, is to avoid answers as above. Like I say Okay there you have it, I wish you well my friends, Please Be Advised by Helen Bovaird Ryan I\u2019d just like to start this morning by welcoming you one and allTo this wonderful institution Our government, many thanks…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":636,"featured_media":14732,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1660],"tags":[2642,2638,2640,2636],"class_list":["post-14734","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-poetry-2","tag-boris-bullshit","tag-liz-truss","tag-rishi-sunak","tag-tory-leadership"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14734","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/636"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14734"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14734\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14732"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14734"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14734"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14734"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
<\/em><\/p>\n
To this wonderful institution Our government, many thanks for making the call
to join our brigade of stalwarts, you\u2019ve now boarded the Boris-Rishi-Liz Bus,
you\u2019ve made the grade, you\u2019re vetted, you\u2019re now officially one of us.<\/p>\n
not to give you each fair warning – this job comes with perks but also risks
It\u2019s a place of plenty, huge opportunity but also many pitfalls
So I\u2019d like to begin by explaining we\u2019ve created a brand new protocol<\/p>\n
But I expect you to glance at the contents, before shredding it. Your call.
A. Ensure you\u2019ve completely covered your back
B. Never leave yourself exposed, make sure to tighten any slack
C. Don\u2019t give a single glimpse into life at Number Ten,
you\u2019ll soon discover its very walls listen.<\/p>\n
You\u2019ll avoid placing the government in the path of possible risk
And of course, my dear friends, that is our ultimate goal here
to hold power ad infinitum, that\u2019s a given, never fear.<\/p>\n
And here, I think you\u2019ll find we\u2019ve established good redress
If you look at your handout – please turn to page 95
There\u2019s a list of handy phrases that I\u2019ll ask you to memorise<\/p>\n
… AS FAR AS I\u2019M AWARE….
….I\u2019M VERY GLAD YOU ASKED THAT\u2026
….IT\u2019S JUST BECAUSE WE CARE….
….THAT\u2019S DESPICABLE, DEPLORABLE,
UNACCEPTABLE, THAT\u2019S WRONG….
….LET ME BEGIN BY SAYING….
….MOVING FORWARD, MOVING ON….
….WE TACKLE THE BIG ISSUES….
….THERE WAS NEVER ANY QUESTION….
….I HAD NO KNOWLEDGE OF….
….IT WAS NEVER OUR INTENTION….
….LOOK AT OUR TRACK RECORD…. and so on and so forth,<\/p>\n
the press will be quite happy to defer and go away.
The key thing to remember is they\u2019re constrained by small time-bites
So stall, fob them off with cliches. They\u2019ll smile in polite delight.<\/p>\n
there\u2019s a party soon in room 101, I expect you to attend.
If you follow all my guidelines, let me assure each one of you
Number Ten will be your perfect home till 2052.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"