{"id":14022,"date":"2021-07-20T10:51:03","date_gmt":"2021-07-20T09:51:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/i-keep-forgetting-that-i-live-in-london\/"},"modified":"2021-07-20T10:51:03","modified_gmt":"2021-07-20T09:51:03","slug":"i-keep-forgetting-that-i-live-in-london","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/i-keep-forgetting-that-i-live-in-london\/","title":{"rendered":"I keep forgetting that I live in London"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" size-full wp-image-14019\" src=\"http:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/9cd76729681b11e87c30e2ea900a4856.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"739\" height=\"456\" srcset=\"http:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/9cd76729681b11e87c30e2ea900a4856.jpg 739w, http:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/9cd76729681b11e87c30e2ea900a4856-600x370.jpg 600w, http:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/9cd76729681b11e87c30e2ea900a4856-300x185.jpg 300w, http:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/9cd76729681b11e87c30e2ea900a4856-441x272.jpg 441w, http:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/9cd76729681b11e87c30e2ea900a4856-1x1.jpg 1w, http:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/9cd76729681b11e87c30e2ea900a4856-10x6.jpg 10w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 739px) 100vw, 739px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\"><strong>I keep forgetting that I live in London<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><em>by Robert Yates<\/em><\/p>\n<p>the clientele abusing the computers in the library consist of:<br \/>hyperactive schoolkids for whom this is a social centre<br \/>once in a green moon they are asked to be quiet<br \/>a dotty old bat who can\u2019t enter data without muttering<br \/>a convulsant jerk unlodging epileptically the bag he has stuffed behind the monitor<br \/>and anyone who can hammer keys like a pile-driver<\/p>\n<p>the nearest supermarket specialises in<br \/>overfrozen microchips, crushed biscuits and soggy \u201ccrusty\u201d rolls<\/p>\n<p>a painfully thin careers adviser with painfully long fingernails<br \/>asks me how many languages I can speak<br \/>\u201cNone,\u201d I reply, \u201cI\u2019m a<br \/>stammerer.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>she doesn\u2019t believe me<br \/>the world consists of stammerers and those who want to be<br \/>I blame Kenneth Tynan and Marilyn Monroe<\/p>\n<p>my downstairs neighbour has bare wooden floorboards and a wailing child<br \/>and a stereo that thuds out over half the estate<br \/>he says it is a pocket transistor radio; he should get it patented<br \/>he has to get up at half past five in the morning to be a twat<\/p>\n<p>I don\u2019t live in London; I live in london<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I keep forgetting that I live in London by Robert Yates the clientele abusing the computers in the library consist of:hyperactive schoolkids for whom this is a&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":608,"featured_media":14019,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1660],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14022","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-poetry-2"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14022","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/608"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14022"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14022\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14019"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14022"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14022"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14022"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}