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Plague Songs – It Cures What Ails Ya!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n by Martin Rowson<\/em><\/p>\n One should not mock the chronic sick, Plague Songs – It Cures What Ails Ya! by Martin Rowson One should not mock the chronic sick,And nor should we mock DominicWhose road-based therapies recall,Damascus-bound, those…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":557,"featured_media":13374,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1660],"tags":[2345,2359],"class_list":["post-13376","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-poetry-2","tag-covid19","tag-dominic-cummings"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13376","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/557"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13376"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13376\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/13374"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13376"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13376"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.gfdesign.co.uk\/culture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13376"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
And nor should we mock Dominic
Whose road-based therapies recall,
Damascus-bound, those of St Paul
Who was, you lot should be reminded,
On a road trip when unblinded.
Dom need make no apology!
It\u2019s not just opthalmology
That sees Road Treatment\u2019s benefits!
It\u2019s a cure-all for the many! It\u2019s
A tested and well tried procedure
From whooping cough to paraplegia!
For instance, the old dean of Keble\u2019s
Gout\u2019s returned: drive him to Peebles!
Abjure the lure of penicillin!
Simply drive to Enniskillin!
Infantile paralysis?
Why not try a drive to Diss?
Your child it born with a cleft palate;
Drive the brat to Shepton Mallet!
A cerebral catastrophe?
Fixed by a drive to Leigh-on-Sea.
You find your mum\u2019s airways restricted?
Motor her to the Peak District;
A femur pops out of its socket?
Drive all the way to Drumnadrochit.
Obviously if you have a stroke,
It\u2019s in the car to Basingstoke;
And likewise cardiac arrest
Demands a drive to Bristol West!
So if your stomach ulcer bleeds
Jump in the car and drive to Leeds;
Caries rot your yellow teeth,
They gleam before you\u2019ve got to Neath;
Struck down with Huntington\u2019s Chorea?
Simply drive to Hazelmere.
A touch of cancer? With a whoosh
Drive off to Ashby-de-la-Zouch!
And when they say you\u2019ve caught malaria –
Hull Regeneration Area!
Just even feeling sort of sick
You\u2019ll cure on drives to Walberswick
And when they say you\u2019ve got Corona
A nice long drive to Barcelona
Should see you right! Whate\u2019er you have
Just punch a route in your sat nav
And soon, on the A23,
You\u2019ll find the perfect remedy!
All you have to do is DRIVE! It
Cures what ails ya! Or go private.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"